As we all know it is getting close to that dreaded day of the year. Valentine’s day. In my opinion a very stupid and needlessly expensive made up holiday. But hey that is just my personal opinion. If you have ever seen the meme that talks about having a second Thanksgiving instead of Valentine’s day just know that I support that movement 1000% #secondthanksgiving
In my opinion you should regularly show or tell the people you love that you love them. This goes for your friends and family too.
I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want to write and the correct way to articulate it. But more than anything I knew I really wanted to address this.
I want to be transparent with you, I am currently in a relationship. I have not talked about it on here so far. This is a part of my life that I plan to keep out of the blog for the most part. I do not think I am by any means a relationship expert and although I’ve talked about poop on here before, this is a bit too personal. I mean let’s be real, I have not even told my family much about it because that is just what I do sometimes.
So now you are probably thinking why are you trying to write a post addressing single people near Valentine’s Day. That is a good question. Until I got into this relationship I had not been in a relationship since high school. And in high school I only dated one person. In college I even proclaimed myself the perpetually single friend. During this time I had gone on a few dates, but never consistently dated anyone.
I had multiple reasons for why I stayed single. I was busy; throughout college I worked part time to get be able to go to the school I wanted and not go into crazy debt. I do have student debt, but I personally never took extra for living costs. Another was fear of getting hurt emotionally. Lastly I never met anyone I was super interested in dating. I met a lot of great people and fun people, but never anyone I imagined a future with. So I willingly chose to stay single.
So next week is this fake holiday. A holiday that brings a lot of people down, because they do not have a date, or they are not in some committed relationship, or they wished they would receive a gift from someone other than their mother.
So I am here today to remind you that your worth is by no means determined by your romantic relationship. Just because you may not be in a romantic relationship right now does not mean you cannot be happy, fulfilled, or successful. Being single is not the worst thing in the world, and sometimes it is the best. Sometimes it is the best thing for your mental and physical health. It is a time for you to learn more about yourself, spend time with friends and family, and make a life you are proud of.
Learning to do things on your own can be one of the most empowering things you can do. To this day I still will do pretty much anything alone. I go to the grocery alone, walk on trails, or eat at restaurants. Obviously I do take precautions, but single people still get to live life. And you really have to. I mean there is no way to stop time until you get into a romantic relationship or anything like that as far as I know.
One time I was telling my friend that I walked the Scioto Trail on a random Sunday morning. Her first question was did I do it alone. And I kind of looked at her funny and was like of course I did, just because I was not in a relationship at the time did not mean my life stopped and I could not do the things I love. Doing things alone can be scary, but can turn into such great experiences.
So let’s talk a bit more about you. I imagine you are a beautiful, intelligent, funny individual. And there are probably so many more positive descriptors that could be used to describe you. I so hope you see these things in yourself because the people around you do and they love you for all of the things that make you authentically you. I hope you never dull your sparkle or make yourself any less authentically you. Making yourself less authentically you would be such a disservice to yourself. And I am telling you that you are amazing, I just know it! Hiding your true self will only lead you to relationships that are not right for you and will not serve you well in the long run.
More than anything I hope you never settle. I hope you do not settle for an unhealthy or unhappy relationship. You deserve so much better than that. Sometimes the waiting game can be discouraging, I will admit that I felt that way at times. If you are in this stage you should think about life more in The Single Chronicles Mindset.
So you are probably like what is The Single Chronicles?
My best friend Rachel from CheerfullyCharlie met in college and lived together for multiple years. Going into our junior year she had recently become single. She had this realization that she had almost never done anything in college without her previous boyfriend. This is when The Single Chronicles was born.
As The Single Chronicles we did everything we wanted to do, went to parties, football games, and even the library just the two of us and had a blast doing it all. We documented it all to show that you can have fun and be happy without being in a romantic relationship. At that time in our lives that friendship was one of the most important relationships in our life. And to this day we still have a very strong relationship.
But most of all we did not let the fact that we were single hold us back from anything we wanted to do in college. In the last two years of our college career we really lived it up! I imagine I will never have to look back at my college career and say I wish I had done this or that because we truly did it all.
Earlier I called it a mindset. This is because I think it can be applied to any time period in your life. We both are in relationships right now, but we still have The Single Chronicles Mindset. In part due to the nature of our relationships we both still do things alone a lot, or hang out with friends without our significant other. We both have lives that still keep going no matter what the state of our relationship is.
So grab your friends and start living with The Single Chronicle Mindset. People truly are the most beautiful when they are happy and this will be when you attract the person you are supposed to be with. I really do believe this. Your person, or soul mate or whatever you believe in will come into your life when they are supposed to. So until then live your life, go have fun with your friends, travel, be silly and make so many memories.